jimhines has made a very good post about rape.

Choice quotes:

"1. Ever notice how often we talk about how someone was raped? When was the last time you heard it phrased, "Someone raped her." Because of course, the latter construction puts the responsibility on the rapist. It isn't something that just happens. It's something a person chose to do.

2. Rapists choose to rape. Nothing you do -- nothing you wear, nothing you drink, nothing you say -- nothing makes that choice for them. If someone raped you, it wasn't your fault. End of story."

And from one of his comments: "There's a natural consequence of drinking too much. It's called a hangover. Rape is not a consequence of drinking, it's a consequence of someone else making a choice to commit a crime."

Can we hand this out in schools? In the street? Can it be posted up on walls in large print with flashing lights?

"No" means no. Why do some people have this GAPING GIANT HOLE in their understanding of such a simple word?

I've never been raped. I hope that remains the case. But I have been repeatedly molested by a guy, JJ, at school who thought it was HI-LARIOUS to continue prodding my crotch with assorted objects, grabbing my leg at the lunch table, and other uncomfortable, unpleasant acts. I said "haha" the first time, moved his hand off my leg. After that I told him to stop. Which he didn't.

Apparently I can't take a joke.

My ex still thinks my opinion of JJ is an over-reaction. (Reason #7,392 he's my ex.)

It's not just JJ's fault. It's the fault of all the other guys at school, and some girls, who thought it was all funny and that we girls should just shrug it off.

No. It's not funny. And no one, regardless of gender, age, race, anything, should have to "shrug off" sexual harrassment or laugh along as if it's some kind of joke.

Here's the reason why it wasn't a joke: I didn't want it to happen.

That's all.

One of my regrets is never going to a teacher or the headmaster about JJ. I sincerely hope that he's since learnt the error of his attitude, and that other women aren't having to deal with harassment from him.

Tags: ranting